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Alphabet Movies: i’m telling the truth

March 6, 2010

F; Fargo

P; Post Grad

C; Cesky Sen (Czech Dream)

B; (The) Business of Being Born

#; 17 Again

I; (The) Invention of Lying

A; (The) Amateurs

#; 2 Days in Paris

I; (The) Informant!

well we’ve reached that time… the time where i watch a new movie but i’ve already covered that letter. so i guess we’ve got a bonus I entry. i’m still not ready to give away the T spot.

I wanted to see this movie in theatres. much like The Invention of Lying, i didn’t have anyone to go with. pity party! whatever, so i never saw it and it got meh to bad reviews. i put it in my queue and knew one day, i would see this movie that Joel McHale talked about for years because he was in it.

so it’s a movie about this guy, Marc Whitacre. love that last name btw. if there are any Whitacres out there, heeeeey there. let’s get married so i can take your last name. ok back on point! so Marc is an executive at ADM and turns out they’re price fixing their products along with every other company in the world! shocker. so the FBI is contacted about another matter (that Marc brings up *cough* makes up) and huzzah big mouth Marc starts to spill out secrets. next thing ya know, he’s an informant for the FBI about the price fixing going down.

Marc’s an idiot. narrating the tapes much like Homer Simpson would. telling people about his FBI involvement when he clearly shouldn’t. it’s a comedy of errors.

the story evolves, the investigation goes public, gets slow at parts (but come on what movie doesn’t?), Marc’s life is turned upside down, and more stuff just happens! don’t want to spoil it for you.

what i can say is that this movie is basically a ton of comedians in “serious” roles. i swear 90% of the cast has appeared as a panelist on Best Week Ever at least once in their career. ok, not that high, but a lot of comedians in this movie. and Buster Bluth! Pete Hornburger! worth the price of admission alone.

Matt Damon was fantastic. i guess he’s a good actor? Team America would have you believe otherwise, but i kind of like the guy. but honestly i can’t tell you any other movie i’ve seen of his. Bourne series? nope. Good Will Hunting? no sir. i have glaring pop culture blind spots as you can tell. oh wait, he was awesome in Talented Mr. Ripley. i saw that!

so if you like dry humor, don’t mind being a bit confused, and like true stories of corporate takedowns, rent away. i’m such a nerd, i really loved all of the info about what ADM does. corn! it really is in everything.

oh yeah, you might be annoyed by the music. it wasn’t too bad for me. and i loved all of the factoids Damon spouted. i laughed out loud at a lot of them.

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Alphabet Movies: real men eat the head

March 5, 2010

F; Fargo

P; Post Grad

C; Cesky Sen (Czech Dream)

B; (The) Business of Being Born

#; 17 Again

I; (The) Invention of Lying

A; (The) Amateurs

#; 2 Days in Paris

does this count? a second numerical movie? well i make the rules, so YES. this counts.

the night before i watched this i watched Before Sunrise for the umpteenth time. ok that’s a lie, it was more like the 3rd. you know, Ethan Hawke and Julie Delpy fall in love for one night in Vienna. so this inspired me to see what else Julie’s been in, and then i remembered that she directed and starred in 2 Nights in Paris. let’s connect the dots here: i watched it.

first things first. i love Adam Goldberg. idk what it is, but hot damn he’s attractive. only with a beard though because i’ve seen photos of him without one and ehhh grow it back. so naturally, i was probably going to like this movie based on the fact that i like both of the leads.

so this movie is kind of like Before Sunrise/Before Sunset, with the banter and the camera-work. it’s mostly two people talking to each other walking around a city. one is neurotic and the other is kind of slutty. i bet you can guess what their conversations are about.

the more i think about it, the less i liked the movie… but i guess looking at Adam Goldberg the whole time is what kept me interested. wow i’m so shallow. parts of it were good, but others were just unnecessary. i got kind of sick of all of the cab rides with Delpy yelling at the drivers.

i can’t say i recommend this movie, unless you’re a fan of the actors. if you wanted to watch a movie about two people in love in a city, watch Before Sunrise and then Before Sunset immediately after. i was way too tired to do the double feature, but i should have. the story feels incomplete.

can’t win ’em all.

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Alphabet Movies: let’s make a porno

March 5, 2010

F; Fargo

P; Post Grad

C; Cesky Sen (Czech Dream)

B; (The) Business of Being Born

#; 17 Again

I; (The) Invention of Lying

A; (The) Amateurs

confession: i saw the first ten minutes of this movie back in 2006. Joey Pants came to Penn State to premiere it and hold a Q&A, etc. it was supposed to be really fun! but then the projector stopped working so the night came to a screeching halt. so yeah, they re-scheduled the viewing but i was unable to attend. never saw the rest.

thank god for Netflix! hey-yo i’m telling you, the 9 bucks a month i shell out for one dvd in the mail at a time and unlimited “watch now” action is totally worth it. you can watch so much!

so this movie is about a small town that decides to make a porno to raise money for something? or for Jeff Bridges? honestly I forget. since I saw the beginning 4 years ago I thought i would be all smart and just skip over the beginning again to get right to the action. obviously a mistake since i can’t remember why they’re making the movie. whatever, it’s not that important.

so the whole town gets involved! everybody from that kid from Almost Famous to Lorelei Gilmore. ok, she’s not really involved but she’s in the movie! what did i learn from this movie? black gentlemen are definitely not all well-hung. which, duh, i think i knew that. young girls that work at the local DQ-esque establishment will bend over backwards to be in your movie. and the chick who works at the mattress store likes to get her freak on.

so i love Jeff Bridges, which made this movie worth watching. it’s a cute little flick that’ll have you rooting for these guys. nothing spectacular, but cute.

and i guess i should just say straight out that there is no actually porn in this movie. of course there isn’t!

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Alphabet Movies: i don’t believe you

March 5, 2010

F; Fargo

P; Post Grad

C; Cesky Sen (Czech Dream)

B; (The) Business of Being Born

#; 17 Again

I; (The) Invention of Lying

am i cheating with this title? yes. but T is such a prime letter that i don’t want to waste it.

I’m a huge Ricky Gervais fan. almost more so a Stephen Merchant fan, but they’re a fantastic duo. and Stephen’s like 7 feet tall, so that’s adorable. he’s brilliant in Extras. that’s all.

so as a “huge fan” you would think that i would have seen this movie in theatres. not so, as i have no friends, hence no one to go to the movies with. i’m sure i’ve written about the merits and joys of solo movie viewing, but idk for some reason it feels weird doing it in this area. mainly because all of the theatres here suck. they’re terrible. i feel skeevy in them.

i told some friends that i just rented this movie and they said i would be disappointed. i said, “oh i don’t know, i really love Ricky.” well, they were right.

i loved the premise, that no one has ever lied before and this guy invents it! sounds exciting. now the problem is that these people tell the truth unnecessarily… as in, no one would EVER say “oh hey i was masturbating when you rang the doorbell, but come on in” even if they were capable of lying. it’s more like these people had no inner “keep that thought to yourself” button. it’s not lying if you don’t tell the person you were just having a Spice Girls sing-along before they called, you just don’t say anything unless they ask. i certainly don’t walk into a room and ask my mom what she’s reading on the internet every time i see her. although i can answer it for you: something about DWTS, David Cook, or Apolo Anton Ohno. she knows what she likes.

so anyway Ricky (i forget his character’s name. Tom? meh who cares) suddenly gets a thought in his head that he can say whatever he wants! so he steals money from the bank by telling them they made an account error, etc. and then he gets famous for hearing “the man in the sky’s” thoughts after he tells his mom what heaven will be like.

i’m a fan of the actors in the film, and i did appreciate a lot of the jokes, but all of the unnecessary blurting of thoughts kind of killed it. and come on, how weird was it hearing Jennifer Garner say masturbate? she seems like such a cute puppy to me.

on that note, Cemetery Junction looks insanely good. so wtg boys! i will see that one in theatres.

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Alphabet Movies: man child

February 22, 2010

17 isn’t a letter. it’s numbers! can you guess what movie i just watched? 17 Again of course.

F; Fargo

P; Post Grad

C; Cesky Sen (Czech Dream)

B; (The) Business of Being Born

#; 17 Again

i was too old to jump on the Zefron train, so pardon my ignorance for not knowing he’s actually an ok actor. kidding, i’ve totally seen high school musical 1 and 2. but not 3. maybe that can be letter H? meh we’ll see.

anyway, this was an enjoyable light movie, perfect for a monday evening when it’s snowing/raining and i have soup to eat.

i loved the best friend. i’m not really into hyper-nerd humor, so that did get a little old, and him boning the principal was predictable, but some things were just too funny so my dislike was overridden by my laughter.

i almost hate to say it, but lately i’ve been enjoying the really predictable doofy movies. someone needs to change my battery pack i guess.

anyway, Zac Efron was great. he can act! i actually believed him as Matthew Perry’s former self. speaking of, Mr. Bing was fine too. not great, but fine. Leslie Mann has always annoyed me, so she wasn’t a highlight. you know who else needs to grow up? Georgina Sparks. Nona Mecklenberg. (michelle trachtenberg) i guess she’s only 24 but christ she looks like she’s 30 and 14 at the same time. either way, i don’t buy that she’s a 17/18 year old girl.

the other kid was good too.

well this is going south, but i would say YES! if you haven’t seen this movie. it was cute, and you too can get past the weird mushy parts if you try your hardest.

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Alphabet Movies: The Bizniss

January 24, 2010

F; Fargo

P; Post Grad

C; Cesky Sen (Czech Dream)

B; (The) Business of Being Born

well. this was one of the best advertisements for birth control if i’ve ever seen one! basically it’s a documentary by Ricki Lake discussing the evils of C-sections and drugs and hospitals. it’s very pro-midwife and home birth, which is fine by me. i think it’s completely correct about the troubles with hospital births, and the unnecessary measures taken by doctors out of convenience.

i’m still on the fence about having my own kids, but this definitely grossed me out. i had no idea how squeamish i was until i watched this! the epidural, the squatting into a bathtub… sick. my whole body was in pain just watching it. so yeah, after watching some of The Pregnancy Pact tonight and then this, i am certainly pro-no kids right now.

my favorite parts of this documentary are as follows:

  • the husband from the one home birth, where he was sans clothing the whole time with his wife too. a little creepy, but i guess i understand?
  • the “expert” who looked like a homeless guy, just yelling about how terrible hospitals are, and how women should give birth at home. he just looked like he was pulled for a ‘man on the street’ segment, and got really riled up before they talked to him. i half expected him to get up in a huff with his walking stick and bandanna tied to the end. however, he made valid points, so i’ll give him that much.
  • the ‘twilight sleep’ discussion. this totally happened to Betty on Mad Men! crazy! yeah, all of the drugs and effects on kids was pretty cool. and scary.

every woman should see this movie. it’s a great conversation starter about how you want childbirth to happen. there are many options out there, and knowing what happens to you in a hospital is beneficial. i’m not saying hospital births are bad, because sometimes they are necessary (as seen in the film), but it’s always good to know what’s going on before you’re just laying there with no control.

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Alphabet Movies: Czech it

January 21, 2010

two movies in one day? the perks of being unemployed. and netflix watch instantly. killer combo.

F; Fargo

P; Post Grad

C; Cesky Sen (Czech Dream)

this is a documentary made by some film school kiddos. now i’m not sure if their purpose was to show how advertising affects us, or just to be raging huge dicks. either way, they made quite the little film.

i first heard about Cesky Sen whilst in Prague. i think the people who made it went to FAMU like me! anyway, so they came up with this idea of opening a hypermarket (that’s supermarket to you Englishmen). The catch? there would be nothing there. they undertook a massive advertising campaign with catchy slogans like ‘don’t spend’ and ‘don’t bother’ and a bunch more. pretty much ‘don’t do it!’ which brings out the 5 year old in all of us. ‘well of course i’m going to do the exact opposite of what you just said’

they also had this enraging song to go along with the hypermarket. with the kids nodding their heads, realizing their Czech dream. some of my favorite footage came from the lead singer. man, she was really into the song.

so they used that old mysterious angle in their adverts, and got about 2000 people to show up for the opening of the fictitious Tesco-like being. some were mad, others confused, and a bunch of people commented on voting NO to join the EU. almost like the European Union was pulling the wool over their eyes. not so, it was your dear brothers in Nationality.

it was pretty cool seeing all of the reactions, and i admit, i was nervous for the grand opening. i wanted a see a knife fight but had to settle for the upset old people. i wanted to interject and tell them that it’s not worth it! don’t walk all the way into that field! your poor legs can’t handle it.

while it was a little disjointed, overall, i enjoyed what i saw. i think a lot of it had to do with the fact that i’m familiar with Czech culture and their people. if i was just a random person on netflix looking to watch a documentary, i don’t know if i would have enjoyed it as much as i did.