Archive for the ‘Television’ Category


Sports Night Season 1 Episode 5: Mary Pat Shelby

May 31, 2011

and we’re BACK!

after an extended break from mocking one of my favorite shows, it’s on Netflix Instant and my interest in watching Dan Rydell parade around the set of Sports Night has piqued once more. let’s get to it.

pop quiz:

Mary Pat Shelby is…

A) a good name for a pet (like a turtle, or bird)

B) a state senator from Idaho

C) fictional example of women across the world getting beat downs and taking it!

what a TWIST this episode throws in your face! let’s just pretend i’ve never seen it and carry on as if nothing bad will happen.

so YAAAAAAY CSC landed an interview! in studio! not remote! movin’ on up like George and Weezie. Dana’s right: promote the hell out of this.

but with who? or is it whom? no one knows! is it Mary Pat Shelby? the next Billie Jean King of track and field? idk who she is, but she’s got a whole episode named after her so she must be a major sports star, right guys? stay tuned.

and now ladies and germs: the sub-plot to end all sub-plots: Dan wants to grow a goatee. he’s a grown man who knows what he wants! let him have it, dangnabit. he’s just going to list famous/awesome people with goatees until you all give in so why fight it?

well turns out this big interview is with some chap named Christian Patrick. he sounds hunky. Dan seems excited, and we all know Dana is bouncing off the walls. Dan agrees about the media promotion blitz. Natalie is also pumped, and she gets to go pre-interview Mr. Handsome! we’ve also deduced that he plays football because she’s headed to the Meadowlands and WHOA he’s a convicted felon? damn exciting stuff.

can anyone else believe it took Casey 3 whole minutes to show up in this episode? thank god he’s wearing his hush puppies. and Dan is sporting some classic Samba-esque Adidas kicks. he’s so perfect i can’t stand it.

Dana’s got some news. apparently these people called “lawyers” have some “conditions” for this upcoming sit-down with Chrissy Chrissy Pat Pat (that name was totally Tom Haverford inspired in case you can’t tell. food rakes). you can talk all you want about touchdowns and passes and towel snapping in the locker room, but you know what topic is off limits?

Mary Pat Shelby.

we quickly learn that she is not a track and field star, state senator from Idaho, or you Aunt’s pet bird. she was Christian Patrick’s girlfriend at one point, and wow he is decidedly un-handsome now that we know he throws ladies down stairs. who are you, Bruce Banner?

Casey’s right: Dana got beat like a drum. played like a fiddle. released like a spit valve. and they’re also mid-priced hookers. leaving money on the nightstand and whatnot. truth.

and here is what it boils down to: this guy is obviously not leading the campaign for model citizenship and everyone is aware of that, but Sports Night is in 3rd place, and any way to grab ratings should be taken advantage of. but at what price? publicizing a known and convicted abuser? this is what we’re dealing with here folks. except Dan, he gave his moral compass the day off. it needs rest from being so perfect all the time.

it seems like everyone is living on planet “well as long as it’s not affecting me directly i’ll let it slide”. this works well for people until it happens to one of their own. dun dun dunnnnnnnn.

Just then the breeze blows Natalie in from the storm. she looks cold and windblown. our favorite astute observer Jeremy immediately notices her wrist is hurt? those glasses kick ass, pal.

and then Dana starts telling jokes because no one thinks she’s funny or a jokey type of person. i think it’s always a bad sign when you have to tell people you have a great sense of humor.

Dan’s goatee would definitely be a lighting problem. and while Josh Charles looks fine sans facial hair, daaaaaaamn he looked good when he sported it during In Treatment. laaaaadies am i right?

and now it’s time to get serious: Isaac storms in with news coming from the Meadowlands! hark! apparently ole Shelby beater was spotted exposing himself to someone in the locker room that wasn’t a teammate. Casey’s eyes light up and Jeremy springs into action.

i have to say, the first time i saw this episode back in oh, 2006? i thought this was brilliant. bringing the story home. hit them where it counts. and i still think this episode is great because of the struggle that ensues. these people are in an interesting situation.

and not to cop out here, but i think i’ll just let the rest of the dramz speak for itself. it nicely runs the gamut of emotions and dealing with this kind of situation. it’s a whole new ballgame, kids!

in the end, Dana almost does a big thing badly, but you know what? she had to go through it to see the situation from all sides. so let’s tell some jokes! it’s what Natalie wants.


Quote of the episode: “that’s all going to change once i grow a goatee”

Who deserves a punch in the face?: well Christian Patrick definitely does, and not just for having two first names disguised as a full name. everyone who does is Satan’s spawn. i also want to add C. Patrick’s agent/manager/whoever that eagle face shaped man was. he looks like he fixes odometers at a used car shop or something.

Hot slut of the episode: Dana for the sole reason that her skirt was knee-length but also quickly took a turn into slutville with that slit/opening straight to the goods. well played.

Overlaying sports reference: are you ready for some football?!?! or is groping a sport?

Isaac cup o’ wisdom: “they work for me” re: Yiddish expressions. they really do.

Sideline Reporter du’jour: not today 😦

Witty dialogue rating: ehhh this wasn’t terrible, but it was definitely preach city. however, i really liked the set-up and conclusion of it, so you’re getting a pass today, Sorkin! however, the way Natalie delivered her “how much do you love me” line bothered me. like she misread it and no one bothered to correct her inflection.

Dan or Casey: Dan alongside Casey.


“how did this get here?” Owning up to your Netflix queue.

May 31, 2011

my windows media center’s netflix capability has been down for god knows how long, and i kind of figured why: i refused to update my laptop’s service pack. i’ve been burned before and figured that if it was still working this way, it was fine.

and then i started to get desperate. i was watching netflix through an INTERNET BROWSER (the horror). it just wasn’t cutting it.

boring story short, it’s updated. it works. and as i was perusing my netflix queue, my face flushed. definitely some interesting choices…

however, it gave me an idea: this summer is going to be full of tv that i don’t want to watch and i need to get my 11 bucks a month worth of mailed movie goodness, so why not make a commitment to watch everything that is currently in my illustrious queue?

obviously (or uhh not), i’m going to have to skip over the television shows and tackle the movies first, because in my defense, most of the television shows listed have already passed through my retinas.

so there you have it: this summer, which in my book and according to the sun, started yesterday, i’m going to tackle my queue that keeps on growing. we’ve got everything from Billy Elliott to some crap named According to Greta. should be a hoot.

look out for something hilarious, or surprisingly satisfying soon.


is this real life?

January 13, 2010

my thoughts on Leno-Gate:

I’m on Team Coco. but more importantly, i’m on Team Fallon. i love me some Jimmy, and hope that his show continues to rock my face off, even if it’s on NBC. i kind of wish he and Conan would sneak away together in the night, form a new network and kick some ass.

I’m kind of sick of reading about this whole thing, but i’m definitely not sick of playing this game:

thanks, TMZ! i’m up to 13. must.get.better.



November 28, 2009

i can’t believe how much i’m enjoying House this season. like honestly enjoying it.

i started watching during season 2. freshman year of college. a bunch of us would get together every tuesday, or whatever day it was on, and watch it. honestly, it was mostly a social thing for me. never much cared about the show. and rarely remembered what the hell happened the week before.

i kept watching until i left to live abroad. i watched quite a few episodes thanks to the magic of the interweb, but it was never a ‘must download’ thing like other shows. i think i stuck it out for that whole season though.

and then season 5 came along. i watched it off and on, and then when i moved to Pittsburgh i gave up. too much going on, not enough love for the show. especially those new characters they added. go to hell, thirteen! and Forman can join you.

anyway, fast forward to this fall. dvr. praise jesus. and my parents watch it too, so we tape it (DWTS is on LIIIIVE) and then catch up a few days later. in all honestly, i probably like it at least 30% for the fact that i can skip the commercials. it keeps the story going. but idk, something about this season is just good. i really missed Chase and Cameron. i’m glad they were back. and i like the plastic surgeon guy a lot too. i always forget his name. Taub? sure.

but yeah, Chase is hitting it out of the park this season. my friend and i used to always joke that ‘Chase was going to screw something up’ because, well, he usually did. we even had a tally board on her fridge for when we watched. his storyline this season is actually interesting, and i’m glad he’s getting some much needed attention. Wilson and House are great as usual. i’m sick of Cuddy, but what else is new. Lucas is awesome though. weird placing, but i’m glad he’s back.

i think it’s the dvr that makes me like House. that’s a sad reason, but hey, at least i’m watching?


on the fence: Glee

November 12, 2009

when promos first surfaced for Glee last spring, i was immediately curious of how their viral marketing would pan out in terms of ratings. everywhere you looked, there was a commercial or poster promoting Fox’s newest wunderkind. It would appeal to the nerds of the world: those who participated in musicals, choir, band. basically anyone who experienced a daily beating from the jocks.

but honestly, has anyone ever been stuffed into a locker besides on Saved By The Bell? ours were all too skinny to fit our winter coats much less a human.

so i watched the premiere in May, being the music geek i was in high school. i can describe my feelings for the show in one made-up word: meh

i am familiar with Ryan Murphy and his creative ventures. I’m a fan of Nip/Tuck’s early days and still tune in because i love beating a dead horse. kidding, Christian Troy is just too sexy to ignore. so while watching Glee i immediately noted how ‘Ryan Murphy’ the whole thing was. it’s not a good thing and it’s not a bad thing. it teeters from sweet to sickly. hilarious to heartwarming. it’s such a dramedy it almost abuses the word.

things i like:

  • Cheerio’s head coach, Sue Sylvester

sue trip

  • The principal
  • Puck (good Christ he’s attractive. and hilarious)


puck tux

puck tux two

  • Quinn
  • babygay Kurt
  • the humming music/score

things i dislike:

  • Mr. Will Schuester
  • when he raps
  • when he sings
  • when he opens his mouth
  • his bitch-ass wife, Teri

i feel like i should pause and discuss Teri for a moment. I love the idea of the character, but i hate with how she’s dealt with. great potential there, but instead they make me hate her when i’m predisposed to love her because of my fondness for evil.

  • the guidance counselor, doe eyes


  • the football coach
  • Finn
  • the rest of the glee club
  • the overproduced music
  • horrible lip sync

i could probably go on, but that’s a nice start. it seems like i should just stop watching, right? the hates outweigh the loves. but i keep tuning in every week…

is it because i don’t want to miss out on the cultural conversation? all of my friends watch it and love it? i like Puck too much?

i usually don’t watch a show just because everyone else does. Grey’s is a perfect example. i’ve never watched an episode. probably seen three minutes of the show, max. so it’s not that…

i do love Puck, but that’s a stupid reason to watch the show. I know better.

maybe i watch to see if it can get worse. i think i keep watching because i like it just enough to keep it in the schedule. sure it’s ridiculous most of the time, but there are redeeming times.

i’m still on the fence, but will keep tuning in. until Will raps again, then i’m OUT.


modern family gif party!

October 31, 2009

cameron xmas



cam dance

lion king

manny flute

phil dance

phil gloria


sports guy chest bump

threading the needle


Sports Night Season 1 Episode 4: Intellectual Property

June 27, 2009

Better late than never? I already remember that I hate this episode, so probably never… but we’ll continue on anyway.

oooh ‘virgin snow’ is supposedly funny. oh goodness, there’s a fly in the studio! why is Dana asking everyone? enough already!

ratings are up?! and Isaac’s an alky. alchie. idk how you’d spell it.

so this control room banter is already getting old. some of it is funny, granted, but a lot of it is worthless.

nice Hush Puppies, Case! fashion forward is your middle name.

and this episode begins the Casey/Dana saga. Dana’s got a man-toy named Gordon, the infamous show-killer Ted McGinley. Casey and Dana have been chums for 15+ years, and he’s obviously in love with her, but ahhhhh can’t do anything about it. and yes, this goes on for ages.

and what is with Natalie being so nosy about the ‘casey situation?’ she’s just being Miley i guess. Natalie is going out of her way to make Casey jealous. genius? we’ll see.

oooh the birthday song sub-plot. i thought this was charming the first time. ok, it’s still charming, mostly because Lisa Simpson is in human form. ‘did you think that song just happened? well, yeah.’ (me too, Dan.)

Casey still cares about the fly. he seems to care about really asinine things. flies, being cool. more things as the series progresses.

well Dan’s on the public domain song kick, requesting ‘birthday’ songs for everyone in the office. i hope the public domain list is better now than it was in 98.

ugh ENOUGH of this Dana/Casey business. Natalie needs to mind her own business.

insert Vermont cliches here. maple syrup! skiing! and now Casey and Dana are spatting about Gordon and telling Casey to ‘knock it off’ regarding their non-love affair. when she says ‘you know what i’m talking about’ i wish she would elaborate. dig deeper! this fight was pretty good, i’ll admit, and would be even better if it didn’t extend through the entire series.

and then she sees the fly.

the problem i have with this episode is that nothing really happens. it’s a lot of set-up for some big underlying stories that last for much longer than they should. there’s no sports theme, Dan’s wearing a sweater, and nothing majorly funny happens. luckily, the next episode is one of the best in the series, so that’s something to look forward to.

Quote of the episode: “it’s almost hard to believe we’re in third place”; “it’s against the law to be vaguely gay?”

Who deserves a punch in the face?: I guess Casey does? i don’t really think he’s in the wrong, but they want you to feel that way.

Hot slut of the episode: meh, no one was really working it in this episode. another reason i don’t love it.

Overlaying sports reference: wow there wasn’t one! this was a very non-sports episode of Sports Night.

Isaac cup o’ wisdom: “it took two people to write that song?”

Sideline Reporter du’jour: none AGAIN

Witty dialogue rating: too much repetition. 2.

Dan or Casey: Dan alongside Casey.