Archive for the ‘Television’ Category


Sports Night Season 1 Episode 5: Mary Pat Shelby

May 31, 2011

and we’re BACK!

after an extended break from mocking one of my favorite shows, it’s on Netflix Instant and my interest in watching Dan Rydell parade around the set of Sports Night has piqued once more. let’s get to it.

pop quiz:

Mary Pat Shelby is…

A) a good name for a pet (like a turtle, or bird)

B) a state senator from Idaho

C) fictional example of women across the world getting beat downs and taking it!

what a TWIST this episode throws in your face! let’s just pretend i’ve never seen it and carry on as if nothing bad will happen.

so YAAAAAAY CSC landed an interview! in studio! not remote! movin’ on up like George and Weezie. Dana’s right: promote the hell out of this.

but with who? or is it whom? no one knows! is it Mary Pat Shelby? the next Billie Jean King of track and field? idk who she is, but she’s got a whole episode named after her so she must be a major sports star, right guys? stay tuned.

and now ladies and germs: the sub-plot to end all sub-plots: Dan wants to grow a goatee. he’s a grown man who knows what he wants! let him have it, dangnabit. he’s just going to list famous/awesome people with goatees until you all give in so why fight it?

well turns out this big interview is with some chap named Christian Patrick. he sounds hunky. Dan seems excited, and we all know Dana is bouncing off the walls. Dan agrees about the media promotion blitz. Natalie is also pumped, and she gets to go pre-interview Mr. Handsome! we’ve also deduced that he plays football because she’s headed to the Meadowlands and WHOA he’s a convicted felon? damn exciting stuff.

can anyone else believe it took Casey 3 whole minutes to show up in this episode? thank god he’s wearing his hush puppies. and Dan is sporting some classic Samba-esque Adidas kicks. he’s so perfect i can’t stand it.

Dana’s got some news. apparently these people called “lawyers” have some “conditions” for this upcoming sit-down with Chrissy Chrissy Pat Pat (that name was totally Tom Haverford inspired in case you can’t tell. food rakes). you can talk all you want about touchdowns and passes and towel snapping in the locker room, but you know what topic is off limits?

Mary Pat Shelby.

we quickly learn that she is not a track and field star, state senator from Idaho, or you Aunt’s pet bird. she was Christian Patrick’s girlfriend at one point, and wow he is decidedly un-handsome now that we know he throws ladies down stairs. who are you, Bruce Banner?

Casey’s right: Dana got beat like a drum. played like a fiddle. released like a spit valve. and they’re also mid-priced hookers. leaving money on the nightstand and whatnot. truth.

and here is what it boils down to: this guy is obviously not leading the campaign for model citizenship and everyone is aware of that, but Sports Night is in 3rd place, and any way to grab ratings should be taken advantage of. but at what price? publicizing a known and convicted abuser? this is what we’re dealing with here folks. except Dan, he gave his moral compass the day off. it needs rest from being so perfect all the time.

it seems like everyone is living on planet “well as long as it’s not affecting me directly i’ll let it slide”. this works well for people until it happens to one of their own. dun dun dunnnnnnnn.

Just then the breeze blows Natalie in from the storm. she looks cold and windblown. our favorite astute observer Jeremy immediately notices her wrist is hurt? those glasses kick ass, pal.

and then Dana starts telling jokes because no one thinks she’s funny or a jokey type of person. i think it’s always a bad sign when you have to tell people you have a great sense of humor.

Dan’s goatee would definitely be a lighting problem. and while Josh Charles looks fine sans facial hair, daaaaaaamn he looked good when he sported it during In Treatment. laaaaadies am i right?

and now it’s time to get serious: Isaac storms in with news coming from the Meadowlands! hark! apparently ole Shelby beater was spotted exposing himself to someone in the locker room that wasn’t a teammate. Casey’s eyes light up and Jeremy springs into action.

i have to say, the first time i saw this episode back in oh, 2006? i thought this was brilliant. bringing the story home. hit them where it counts. and i still think this episode is great because of the struggle that ensues. these people are in an interesting situation.

and not to cop out here, but i think i’ll just let the rest of the dramz speak for itself. it nicely runs the gamut of emotions and dealing with this kind of situation. it’s a whole new ballgame, kids!

in the end, Dana almost does a big thing badly, but you know what? she had to go through it to see the situation from all sides. so let’s tell some jokes! it’s what Natalie wants.


Quote of the episode: “that’s all going to change once i grow a goatee”

Who deserves a punch in the face?: well Christian Patrick definitely does, and not just for having two first names disguised as a full name. everyone who does is Satan’s spawn. i also want to add C. Patrick’s agent/manager/whoever that eagle face shaped man was. he looks like he fixes odometers at a used car shop or something.

Hot slut of the episode: Dana for the sole reason that her skirt was knee-length but also quickly took a turn into slutville with that slit/opening straight to the goods. well played.

Overlaying sports reference: are you ready for some football?!?! or is groping a sport?

Isaac cup o’ wisdom: “they work for me” re: Yiddish expressions. they really do.

Sideline Reporter du’jour: not today 😦

Witty dialogue rating: ehhh this wasn’t terrible, but it was definitely preach city. however, i really liked the set-up and conclusion of it, so you’re getting a pass today, Sorkin! however, the way Natalie delivered her “how much do you love me” line bothered me. like she misread it and no one bothered to correct her inflection.

Dan or Casey: Dan alongside Casey.


“how did this get here?” Owning up to your Netflix queue.

May 31, 2011

my windows media center’s netflix capability has been down for god knows how long, and i kind of figured why: i refused to update my laptop’s service pack. i’ve been burned before and figured that if it was still working this way, it was fine.

and then i started to get desperate. i was watching netflix through an INTERNET BROWSER (the horror). it just wasn’t cutting it.

boring story short, it’s updated. it works. and as i was perusing my netflix queue, my face flushed. definitely some interesting choices…

however, it gave me an idea: this summer is going to be full of tv that i don’t want to watch and i need to get my 11 bucks a month worth of mailed movie goodness, so why not make a commitment to watch everything that is currently in my illustrious queue?

obviously (or uhh not), i’m going to have to skip over the television shows and tackle the movies first, because in my defense, most of the television shows listed have already passed through my retinas.

so there you have it: this summer, which in my book and according to the sun, started yesterday, i’m going to tackle my queue that keeps on growing. we’ve got everything from Billy Elliott to some crap named According to Greta. should be a hoot.

look out for something hilarious, or surprisingly satisfying soon.


is this real life?

January 13, 2010

my thoughts on Leno-Gate:

I’m on Team Coco. but more importantly, i’m on Team Fallon. i love me some Jimmy, and hope that his show continues to rock my face off, even if it’s on NBC. i kind of wish he and Conan would sneak away together in the night, form a new network and kick some ass.

I’m kind of sick of reading about this whole thing, but i’m definitely not sick of playing this game:

thanks, TMZ! i’m up to 13. must.get.better.



November 28, 2009

i can’t believe how much i’m enjoying House this season. like honestly enjoying it.

i started watching during season 2. freshman year of college. a bunch of us would get together every tuesday, or whatever day it was on, and watch it. honestly, it was mostly a social thing for me. never much cared about the show. and rarely remembered what the hell happened the week before.

i kept watching until i left to live abroad. i watched quite a few episodes thanks to the magic of the interweb, but it was never a ‘must download’ thing like other shows. i think i stuck it out for that whole season though.

and then season 5 came along. i watched it off and on, and then when i moved to Pittsburgh i gave up. too much going on, not enough love for the show. especially those new characters they added. go to hell, thirteen! and Forman can join you.

anyway, fast forward to this fall. dvr. praise jesus. and my parents watch it too, so we tape it (DWTS is on LIIIIVE) and then catch up a few days later. in all honestly, i probably like it at least 30% for the fact that i can skip the commercials. it keeps the story going. but idk, something about this season is just good. i really missed Chase and Cameron. i’m glad they were back. and i like the plastic surgeon guy a lot too. i always forget his name. Taub? sure.

but yeah, Chase is hitting it out of the park this season. my friend and i used to always joke that ‘Chase was going to screw something up’ because, well, he usually did. we even had a tally board on her fridge for when we watched. his storyline this season is actually interesting, and i’m glad he’s getting some much needed attention. Wilson and House are great as usual. i’m sick of Cuddy, but what else is new. Lucas is awesome though. weird placing, but i’m glad he’s back.

i think it’s the dvr that makes me like House. that’s a sad reason, but hey, at least i’m watching?


on the fence: Glee

November 12, 2009

when promos first surfaced for Glee last spring, i was immediately curious of how their viral marketing would pan out in terms of ratings. everywhere you looked, there was a commercial or poster promoting Fox’s newest wunderkind. It would appeal to the nerds of the world: those who participated in musicals, choir, band. basically anyone who experienced a daily beating from the jocks.

but honestly, has anyone ever been stuffed into a locker besides on Saved By The Bell? ours were all too skinny to fit our winter coats much less a human.

so i watched the premiere in May, being the music geek i was in high school. i can describe my feelings for the show in one made-up word: meh

i am familiar with Ryan Murphy and his creative ventures. I’m a fan of Nip/Tuck’s early days and still tune in because i love beating a dead horse. kidding, Christian Troy is just too sexy to ignore. so while watching Glee i immediately noted how ‘Ryan Murphy’ the whole thing was. it’s not a good thing and it’s not a bad thing. it teeters from sweet to sickly. hilarious to heartwarming. it’s such a dramedy it almost abuses the word.

things i like:

  • Cheerio’s head coach, Sue Sylvester

sue trip

  • The principal
  • Puck (good Christ he’s attractive. and hilarious)


puck tux

puck tux two

  • Quinn
  • babygay Kurt
  • the humming music/score

things i dislike:

  • Mr. Will Schuester
  • when he raps
  • when he sings
  • when he opens his mouth
  • his bitch-ass wife, Teri

i feel like i should pause and discuss Teri for a moment. I love the idea of the character, but i hate with how she’s dealt with. great potential there, but instead they make me hate her when i’m predisposed to love her because of my fondness for evil.

  • the guidance counselor, doe eyes


  • the football coach
  • Finn
  • the rest of the glee club
  • the overproduced music
  • horrible lip sync

i could probably go on, but that’s a nice start. it seems like i should just stop watching, right? the hates outweigh the loves. but i keep tuning in every week…

is it because i don’t want to miss out on the cultural conversation? all of my friends watch it and love it? i like Puck too much?

i usually don’t watch a show just because everyone else does. Grey’s is a perfect example. i’ve never watched an episode. probably seen three minutes of the show, max. so it’s not that…

i do love Puck, but that’s a stupid reason to watch the show. I know better.

maybe i watch to see if it can get worse. i think i keep watching because i like it just enough to keep it in the schedule. sure it’s ridiculous most of the time, but there are redeeming times.

i’m still on the fence, but will keep tuning in. until Will raps again, then i’m OUT.


modern family gif party!

October 31, 2009

cameron xmas



cam dance

lion king

manny flute

phil dance

phil gloria


sports guy chest bump

threading the needle


Sports Night Season 1 Episode 4: Intellectual Property

June 27, 2009

Better late than never? I already remember that I hate this episode, so probably never… but we’ll continue on anyway.

oooh ‘virgin snow’ is supposedly funny. oh goodness, there’s a fly in the studio! why is Dana asking everyone? enough already!

ratings are up?! and Isaac’s an alky. alchie. idk how you’d spell it.

so this control room banter is already getting old. some of it is funny, granted, but a lot of it is worthless.

nice Hush Puppies, Case! fashion forward is your middle name.

and this episode begins the Casey/Dana saga. Dana’s got a man-toy named Gordon, the infamous show-killer Ted McGinley. Casey and Dana have been chums for 15+ years, and he’s obviously in love with her, but ahhhhh can’t do anything about it. and yes, this goes on for ages.

and what is with Natalie being so nosy about the ‘casey situation?’ she’s just being Miley i guess. Natalie is going out of her way to make Casey jealous. genius? we’ll see.

oooh the birthday song sub-plot. i thought this was charming the first time. ok, it’s still charming, mostly because Lisa Simpson is in human form. ‘did you think that song just happened? well, yeah.’ (me too, Dan.)

Casey still cares about the fly. he seems to care about really asinine things. flies, being cool. more things as the series progresses.

well Dan’s on the public domain song kick, requesting ‘birthday’ songs for everyone in the office. i hope the public domain list is better now than it was in 98.

ugh ENOUGH of this Dana/Casey business. Natalie needs to mind her own business.

insert Vermont cliches here. maple syrup! skiing! and now Casey and Dana are spatting about Gordon and telling Casey to ‘knock it off’ regarding their non-love affair. when she says ‘you know what i’m talking about’ i wish she would elaborate. dig deeper! this fight was pretty good, i’ll admit, and would be even better if it didn’t extend through the entire series.

and then she sees the fly.

the problem i have with this episode is that nothing really happens. it’s a lot of set-up for some big underlying stories that last for much longer than they should. there’s no sports theme, Dan’s wearing a sweater, and nothing majorly funny happens. luckily, the next episode is one of the best in the series, so that’s something to look forward to.

Quote of the episode: “it’s almost hard to believe we’re in third place”; “it’s against the law to be vaguely gay?”

Who deserves a punch in the face?: I guess Casey does? i don’t really think he’s in the wrong, but they want you to feel that way.

Hot slut of the episode: meh, no one was really working it in this episode. another reason i don’t love it.

Overlaying sports reference: wow there wasn’t one! this was a very non-sports episode of Sports Night.

Isaac cup o’ wisdom: “it took two people to write that song?”

Sideline Reporter du’jour: none AGAIN

Witty dialogue rating: too much repetition. 2.

Dan or Casey: Dan alongside Casey.


come on come on

May 19, 2009

i’ve been pleasantly surprised with the quality season Rescue Me has been having. i loved seasons 1 and 2, most of 3, but 4 was insulting. i think i even stopped watching, which says A LOT because i’m known to hang on to a show even when it’s down.

that said, the writer’s strike and what, 19 month hiatus does a body good. the show got back to its roots, so to say, by examining Jimmy and 9/11 again. the mark of a great television show is one that has you laughing one minute and crying the next. it’s finally doing that again.

I’m really interested in the French writer doing the 9/11 book or whatever because it’s exposing the crew’s weepy sides, but in a way you would not think is “out of step” for the characters. it feels so real when Lou yells and Tommy defending his lack of need to watch more than 3 seconds of footage because he doesn’t need it to conjure up a single memory of that day. he’s still living with it.

i’m also really glad that they’re putting the whole Franco perspective out there. personally, i don’t know what i believe about the whole shebang, but it’s refreshing to hear something else, especially coming from a firefighter. he’s right, as a human being he has the right to ask questions about what happened…

and Sheila’s monologue a couple of episodes back… oh god. so fantastic. that’s why i love this show.

there will always be things i don’t really care for, such as any scene with Tommy and Janet’s kids, but it’s more bearable this year because it’s less consuming of the 42 minutes.

and finally, let’s snap it up for Sean getting to show his acting chops this season with something serious actually happening to him. i’m usually not for medical dramz in a series, unless medicine is the topic, but i like where this is going… him having to keep it a secret from the house and all.

Rescue Me is available onDemand and i would say episode 5–on of this season have been great throwbacks to seasons 1 and 2. i can’t wait for next week and weeks to come. Thanks, Denis Leary!


Sports Night Season 1 Episode 3: The Hungry and the Hunted

November 22, 2008

Long time no see, reader(s). I’m heading home tomorrow for Thanksgiving break. my laundry is done, it’s freezing outside, i have no beer money, and i just ate my weight in ice cream. all signs point to reviewing Sports Night until I fall asleep. also, i feel a little bad for Peter Krause since his latest show was canceled and he needs some attention paid to his awesomeness.

The opening music is seriously ridiculous. mmm popcorn! We open with Isaac and Casey watching sports! Casey’s eating the delicious looking popcorn. Jeremy is showing off his smarts, shocking.

The rough and tumble live on the razor’s edge…something something… yacht racing! America’s Cup is only a year and a half away. get pumped. Dan’s certainly convinced me.

Oooh Jeremy’s getting the call! Act excited/confused/whatever seems appropriate. I would venture to say excitement is the proper feeling for this, seeing as everyone in the know is excited for this young man. Let’s see how this plays out… we’ll talk about it after lunch.

along with the jazzy music, this laugh track has got to go as well. I know it does eventually, but gahh i don’t need to be told when something is funny.

One of the network big wigs is having a reception thinger that everyone must attend. Fancy invitations, the works. It’s on Thursday. which one, i’m not quite sure and neither is Dan.

Ok so onto “getting the call…” apparently Jeremy is doing quite well here at Sports Night, and the crew is looking into getting him some segment producing experience. Yay? Now if you recall, i do believe it was just last episode he was cutting his first highlight clip package that was a resounding 8 minutes. Call me crazy but it doesn’t sound like he’s doing quite well based on what we’ve seen. nonetheless, I’m sure this “call” will prove to be a great lesson for us all. Cue the Full House music.

His assignment is for the CSC Outdoorsman. oooh it involves hunting! sounds like a hot topic. does someone not agree with hunting??? probably.

Oh God, it’s Thursday! the “next Thursday” Thursday! Dan’s not prepared. Natalie wants Casey and Dana to fall in love. hmm…

and here we go with Dan’s loathing of soccer. He can’t name 5 teams in the MLS to save his life. I paused the show right after he said this, so i can quickly name 5 teams. my life isn’t in danger, but i just want to show that i can! ok here we go: DC United, LA Galaxy, FC Dallas, New England Revolution, Columbus Crew, Chicago Fire. wow that’s six. didn’t realize, and i could keep going!

anyway, the rest of the crew quickly outsmart Dan by showing off their soccer knowledge. wow they do it! was this a paid advertisement for MLS? if so i don’t think it worked…

“I just want to say that the length of this conversation is way out of proportion with my interest in it” Oh Dan, you’re too much.

Dana looks hot! Casey falls down. cue the laugh track. and oh noes! There’s a problem with Jeremy!!! I could have predicted this.

So now Casey and Dan are discussing people they know named Gordon. I can add a third: Gordon Bombay. yes, he’s fictional, but his name is Gordon. This seems to be bothering Casey… the man talking to Dana was named… Gordon! Casey is jealous that Dana had a date to the party. Where was Natalie on this one to warn Dan? someone is failing as the annoying office gossip…

So Jeremy returns… no one seems to know that things went poorly except Isaac and Dana. They took Jeremy to the hospital?!?! Jeremy explains. Our heart trembles? Jeremy explains how he feels how wrong it was that ___ happened on the trip. I don’t want to ruin the suspense for you. “but it wasn’t sports! it was just mean!”

was anyone else perturbed by all of the silence during the Jeremy/Isaac office Tet a Tet? I could have used some building intense instrumental music.

and then he calls his dad? wtf is this…

So the show ends there. What did we learn today? Physical comedy apparently warrants a laugh track, Aaron Sorkin doesn’t agree with killing things, Dan doesn’t know that Luxembourg isn’t an MLS team, and Isaac Jaffe always calls in your references.

Quote of the episode: “Is next Thursday next Thursday or this Thursday?”

Who deserves a punch in the face?: Jeremy. i think you know why.

Hot slut of the episode: Dana. wearing a Richard Tyler gown and Manolos BEFORE Sex and the City made them a common name for chicks who wear heels.

This made no sense: when did Isaac speak with Jeremy’s references when Dana supposedly hired him? and pretty much on the spot. hmm…

Overlaying sports reference: you could go with Jeremy and his hunting rant/whatever, but I’m gonna go with that creepy MLS plug in the middle. mainly because I like soccer.

Isaac cup o’ wisdom: “if you’re dumb, surround yourself with smart people. and if you’re smart surround yourself with smart people who disagree with you”

Sideline Reporter du’jour: none. sadness.

Witty dialogue rating: Lots of upstate New York references. pretty annoying. Aaron Sorkin spewing his views on hunting/killing was as well. I would give this episode a 3 because it did have some nice zingers despite the main theme of the episode.

Dan or Casey: Casey alongside Dan


“…confidence that is disproportionate with my looks and abilities”

September 21, 2008

i love award shows. yes, they are boring about 4 minutes in and i wish i was doing something else, but i always manage to stick it out with minimal switch-overs to the Sunday night football game. of note: tonight was the first time i watched any NFL game AT ALL this season. and i won the pool last week with an impressive 96 points. who says you have to pay attention to the league? and oh goodness way to go team USA for taking back the Ryder Cup! golf claps for all of you.

anyway back to my point about award shows. they’re deliciously awkward a lot of the time, and my favorite actors are usually looking delicious. but really, the highlight of any show of this magnitude is the “in memorium” montage that’s tacked on between the directing awards and the ones that people care about.

I love this 3 minute clip package because it’s a test of me remembering if/when this person actually died. well not so much if but when, and this year was filled with “who?” and “her?” moments. they showed George Carlin twice. did he die twice, or do you think the audience is too dumb to recognize the man?

Don Rickles was clearly the highlight of tonight’s 3 hour snoozefest. god that man is funny. I’m upset that Jon Hamm was robbed of a much deserved outstanding actor in a drama series Emmy, but snaps to AMC for picking up the award anyway in the work of Bryan Cranston. 30 Rock kicked ass and took names with their category wins for lead actor and actress, and outstanding comedy series, so congrats to them! funniest show on television right now. blerg. and aces high to Mad Men for picking up the outstanding drama award. that cast is just too pretty for words. i love how they all look so modern when not in costume/character. makes them extra jumpable. that doesn’t look like a word… but you’re on watch Ken Cosgrove. from accounts.

onto music. Glen Campbell’s latest album (from August, i’m a little late) is pretty fantastic. he’s covering other people’s work, much like Paul Anka but in a waaay less creepy form. his cover of one of my favorite Tom Petty songs has been stuck in my head since i first heard it, so yeah.

and finally, i come home Saturday evening to a dinner party, filled with yummy food and drink (nice job on the fresh watermelon margaritas). I wake up Sunday morning to my dad reading the paper, scanning the Best Buy ad, and then declaring “i’m going to buy a Wii, want to come?”

i think it’s needless to say that there is now a Nintendo Wii sitting in my living room. Wii Fit as well, because who doesn’t love hula hooping without a hula hoop? i’m actually very good at it. take me on. and i beat my mom in golf. and baseball.

anyway, i predict this console will get minimal use in a house with two adults approaching age 50 and will be in my room after Thanksgiving Break, when i smuggle it into my car without them knowing. i’ll be working on my short game, so come ready for a golf throwdown.

and starting tomorrow, i fear i won’t be seeing much of anything besides a computer screen and textbooks. wake me up with it’s time to go home for Thanksgiving break, and hope to god I know where i’ll be in January. let’s think positive so it doesn’t involve sitting on my parents couch, or wait! playing Wii.