Archive for the ‘movies’ Category

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“how did this get here?” Owning up to your Netflix queue.

May 31, 2011

my windows media center’s netflix capability has been down for god knows how long, and i kind of figured why: i refused to update my laptop’s service pack. i’ve been burned before and figured that if it was still working this way, it was fine.

and then i started to get desperate. i was watching netflix through an INTERNET BROWSER (the horror). it just wasn’t cutting it.

boring story short, it’s updated. it works. and as i was perusing my netflix queue, my face flushed. definitely some interesting choices…

however, it gave me an idea: this summer is going to be full of tv that i don’t want to watch and i need to get my 11 bucks a month worth of mailed movie goodness, so why not make a commitment to watch everything that is currently in my illustrious queue?

obviously (or uhh not), i’m going to have to skip over the television shows and tackle the movies first, because in my defense, most of the television shows listed have already passed through my retinas.

so there you have it: this summer, which in my book and according to the sun, started yesterday, i’m going to tackle my queue that keeps on growing. we’ve got everything from Billy Elliott to some crap named According to Greta. should be a hoot.

look out for something hilarious, or surprisingly satisfying soon.

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I’m Casting: The Hunger Games

February 16, 2011

ok teenage internet lurkers, it’s time to put all of these rumors to rest about the potential cast of the much anticipated Hunger Games trilogy. These mostly amazing/borderline terrible books will be hitting the big screen soon, and everyone is buzzing about who should play our fearless heroes and friends. and stupid people.

i read the series so of course i’m entitled to my opinions on who should grace the screen and bring Suzanne Collins’ terrible writing to life. so let’s get to it, these are my picks for the movie franchise. and i’m completely correct with all of these, so don’t even pretend to fight me.

KATNISS:

of course it’s the True Grit girl, Hailee Steinfeld. is she technically younger than Katniss in the books? yes. but you know what? Katniss was kind of a whiny bitch at times, which is perfect for a 14 year old. She could definitely make it work, and whenever they were braiding her hair in the books I always thought of this chick. She’s perfect. discussion over.

PEETA:

it took awhile, but Peeta definitely became my favorite character in the book, with his mad baking skills and puppy dog heart. and his crazy antics. whatever, Team Peeta for life. i can barely defend my devotion to him. anyway, while I was reading the books Big Love’s 5th season also premiered. and you know who would be a perfect Peeta? Gary Embry, Don’s son! he’s blonde, kind of doughy (the most important quality in a baker), and he’s sweet as sugar, but could and would probably kick your ass. AND IMBD tells me he played the legendary Greg Pikitis in one of the funniest episodes of Parks and Recreation ever. yes, i screamed PIKITIS when i saw it was him. so yeah, he’s pefect. and he’s pretty unknown which is what the casting directors should go for if you think about it. no one in Harry Potter was famous minus the adults. so i cast my vote for Cody Klop.

 

HAYMITCH:

here we go for some controversy. Everyone wants Hugh Laurie or Robert Downey Jr. to play Haymitch. I think we all know how much I love me some RDJ, but like Hugh Laurie, he is far too old for this role. Haymitch is what? in his late 30s–early 40s? and i know he’s a drunk so that gives him license to be as old looking as Clint Eastwood, but it’s the future! and both of the aforementioned actors are a touch too famous for this. do you really want to be associated with the next Twilight? Look what that did to Billy Campbell. oh yeah, gave him a bank account in the black. whatever, stick to Dr. House and Tony Stark thank you.

my pick for hot slut Haymitch (who besides Peeta and Cinna was the most badass person in country Panem) is Mark Ruffalo! he looks like he would play one hell of a drunk, and i love how he kind of lisps when he yells. there is something about him that i think really works for Haymitch. he would make it work.

 

CINNA:

another flawless character. I’ve been on Team Cinna since day one. he brings it! i don’t even know what else to say about this guy except he deserves major screen time. and i think we can all agree that Cillian Murphy is the perfect choice to play Cinna. he’s the only person i could picture while reading the books.

note: after google image-ing him, wow he is not very photogenic. and what about Colin Ferrell as Haymitch? god he would also be amazeballs.

 

EFFIE:

99% of the time, I hate Kristin Chenoweth, but she’s a fan of the series and is admittedly perfect for the role of Effie.

 

PRIM:

Elle Fanning, duh. who else is a ‘wise beyond her years’ young blonde? i wish i could get more creative, but there are no other options unless you go unknown. cast her!

 

GALE:

meh who cares. pick some nubile dark haired green eyed olive skinned ‘it’ boy. i hate him anyway.

 

PRESIDENT SNOW:

Steve Martin. he would kill this. i bet he smells like roses and blood.

FINNICK:

same as Gale, except i like him. but i have nothing specific in mind, maybe Zach Levi? i kind of pictured that prince from Tangled as Finnick. so yeah, Levi is my choice.

 

RUE:

i kind of forgot about Rue, but she’s a big enough character so I’ll include her. Someone suggested Willow Smith on the interwebz and you know what? i love it. so Willow for Rue!

 

and truth be told, they’re the only people who matter (to me). any good casting suggestions are welcome in the comments, otherwise, feel free to stew over how right I am about Peeta and Haymitch. you’re welcome.

TEAM PEETA. TEAM CINNA.

 

one final request, can we get Mike Myers in this movie? possibly as Beetee? anyone really, i don’t know why but i see him in this and it’s amazing.

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Alphabet Movies: Go to Hell!

April 21, 2010

F; Fargo

P; Post Grad

C; Cesky Sen (Czech Dream)

B; (The) Business of Being Born

#; 17 Again

I; (The) Invention of Lying

A; (The) Amateurs

#; 2 Days in Paris

I; (The) Informant!

O; Ordinary People

G; Gentlemen Broncos

E; (An) Education

H; Hell House

#ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ#

hell house! sounds terrifying, and boy howdy, it is.

have you ever been to a haunted house with crazy Christian themes as the underscore? you know, the “scary” things like drunk driving, abuse, abortion, hell???

yeah, me too. there was one around my parts in middle and high school. it was called house of horrors, how appropriate. i dont know if it still exists, but man they could pack ’em in.

i grew up in a pretty god fearing part of the country. huge mega churches that sat caty-corner to each other. good times.

so hell house. it chronicles the making of one of these scary halloween houses. the brainstorms for scenes, the audition process, and of course, the big production.

it followed some of the “cast members,” including my favorite: the family with the boy that had a seizure ON CAMERA. Christ, that was terrifying. and the oldest daughter was kind of great in her role as the girl getting an abortion. crazy, but true. the blood on her white pants scarred me for life though.

so yeah, interesting stuff. seeing as i’ve been through these treasures of production before, i was familiar with the people who run them and their agenda. it’s like watching Jesus Camp, insane but super informative bout how people choose to live their lives.

and i can’t believe I’m lumping this in with Hell House, but i recently watched In The Loop and it was my favorite movie of 2009 that i saw in 2010. should have won an Oscar. really funny and insightful? idk if that’s the right word because it’s not like a true story or anything, but it was cool to see how things operate in a roundabout way.

i would include a full review, but i’ve already watched 2 movies that start with an I. never thought I would be the letter i overrun with film watching.

go rent In The Loop. skip Hell House, unless you’re bored, or are unnaturally interested in Pentecostal Christians and their ministry.

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Alphabet Movies: life lessons

April 15, 2010

F; Fargo

P; Post Grad

C; Cesky Sen (Czech Dream)

B; (The) Business of Being Born

#; 17 Again

I; (The) Invention of Lying

A; (The) Amateurs

#; 2 Days in Paris

I; (The) Informant!

O; Ordinary People

G; Gentlemen Broncos

E; (An) Education

#ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ#

Oh that pixie Carrie Mulligan. such a spirit. she’s starring as a 16/17 year old girl who’s getting an education! what a title. she’s English and a little feisty. her dad wants her to attend Oxford, which means study up, young lady. Personally, having been to both Oxford and Cambridge, Cambridge is about a million times better. i am completely biased with an alum in the family, but gahhh Cambridge is just picturesque. Oxford is pretty and such, but so blah. go to Cambridge little lady!

So. she’s studying hard. and she plays the cello. it’s raining and some guy picks her up b/c he doesn’t want her cello to get wet. [insert dirty joke here]

so he’s an older gentleman, but not super grandpa old. he’s in his early 30s? whatever, it’s not that important. he’s got friends, namely some weird British lady and Dominic Cooper, old bug eyes.

they live glamorously, attracting young Pixie Mulligan. i think her name in the film is Jenny. turns out these amigos are swindlers! they steal paintings and stuff from old ladies homes right under their noses. it’s genius, really. Jenny doesn’t love this, but she likes all of the rich stuff that comes with it. She’s in love with Peter Sarsgaard, and she swipes her v-card with him on her 17th birthday. cliche!

they get engaged, which apparently is par for the course in 1960s England. young girls and old-ish men. her parents are thrilled, giving up her life of going to college. Jenny stops caring too b/c she doesn’t want to be a teacher, the only profession a woman can have besides prostitute.

something bad/scandalous happens. Little J certainly gets an education!

the acting in this little ditty was good. i don’t mean to make this movie sound trite and silly, i actually enjoyed it. everybody watch out for Miss Mulligan, she’s a force.

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Alphabet Movies: Surveillance does — I hate those.

March 27, 2010

F; Fargo

P; Post Grad

C; Cesky Sen (Czech Dream)

B; (The) Business of Being Born

#; 17 Again

I; (The) Invention of Lying

A; (The) Amateurs

#; 2 Days in Paris

I; (The) Informant!

O; Ordinary People

G; Gentlemen Broncos

did you like Napoleon Dynamite? then you might like this movie. i myself am a re-birthed fan. at first i was like ‘what is this nonsense’ and now it makes me laugh. so my humor appreciation is ripe for a movie like Gentlemen Broncos.

i’ll get this out of the way: i love Jemaine Clement and Sam Rockwell. they are the reason i rented this, not Jared Hess. his work is kind of hit or miss. while i like Napoleon because it captures teenage angst like nothing else, his creative liberties kind of annoy me. weird thing is, Wes Anderson is my top 5 directors, and that man is all style.

so Jemaine is brilliant as Chevalier, the famous sci-fi author. He’s having trouble producing another successful novel, so he steals Yeast Lords, a story written by the teen character Benjamin. They meet at a writing camp, where Benjamin enters a contest and Chevalier reads the story and steals it. backwards sentences!

so he steals it and publishes it under a new title. at the same time, Benjamin’s friends he met at writing camp are making Yeast Lords into a major motion picture! and by major, i mean really cheaply produced, with Ben’s mom’s boyfriend in the lead role.

obviously trouble arises with both items released around the same time. hoopla!

what i really want to talk about are the things that me laugh. The writing class Chevalier teaches had its moments, especially the whole part about giving your characters great names. youtube it. (if you can, no i’m not going to check for you)

Jennifer Coolidge plays the psychopath so well, i really wonder what she’s like in real life. you’ve got this character, her in Legally Blonde, Best In Show, and Secret Life of the American Teenager. girl, who are you really? i would love to meet her. she’s great in this role.

i thought the Lonnie character was really funny, even if he was terribly one-note. and the girl reminded me so much of Steph from Dorm Life that i was convinced it actually was her. it wasn’t. 😦 but you should watch all of Dorm Life at http://www.dorm-life.com

finally, Sam Rockwell. he’s almost my favorite actor ever. that title belongs to Philip Seymour Hoffman, but Rockwell is definitely tops. he was in the movie for about 6 minutes total, but i loved every second of it. He played both Bronco and Brutus in the imaginations of Benjamin and Chevalier’s main character. his Brutus was hysterical, i want to take one home with me.

so, see this movie if you like Jared Hess and his work. it had a lot of potential, but got lost along the way. really, i laughed out loud a lot, but overall it fell flat and i didn’t end up enjoying it that much. go forth, but with caution. you’ll probably think it’s terrible.

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Alphabet Movies: it’s all jello and pudding with you

March 15, 2010

F; Fargo

P; Post Grad

C; Cesky Sen (Czech Dream)

B; (The) Business of Being Born

#; 17 Again

I; (The) Invention of Lying

A; (The) Amateurs

#; 2 Days in Paris

I; (The) Informant!

O; Ordinary People

man, Mary Tyler Moore is a bitch! and sorry, Donald Sutherland will never be attractive like his son. I keep wanting the younger version of him to be hot, but blerg no. he’s just not.

Timothy Hutton was great. i’ve always liked him, and he’s especially talented in this role. Check him out in Beautiful Girls too.

He plays the tortured Conrad Jarrett, who attempted suicide, was found, went to the looney bin, got out, and is now back in high school. on the swim team coached by the debt collector from Camp Nowhere! name’s Polk. T.R. Polk. haha sorry, i love that movie. rent that too if you’ve never seen it.

So Conrad is obviously not smiles times, and his parents think he should see a shrink. so he does. and it’s the dude from Taxi! not Latka, or Danny Devito, or Jeff Conway. but the other one! Judd Hirsch is his name. ok so Connie goes to see Dr. Berger, which seems to help him. he gets to hash out his feelings about his brother drowning while he watched, dealing with him thinking he caused it, etc. damn good stuff.

so his mom, Mary Tyler Moore, is unintentionally blaming him for the loss of her eldest son. it’s clear he was the family favorite, so it’s not easy for her to deal. his dad is more understanding, and is trying to be the stable and supportive parent.

oh yeah, and Conrad’s friend from the crazy house ends up killing herself. the scene where he finds out is riveting. well played.

in the end, mommy leaves the compound for a “vacation” because she can’t stand her life either.

we’re just ordinary people, we don’t know which way to go… hum dum dum.

but honestly, i thought this movie was great. i’m getting into the old-time dramas, with crazy intense music and dark lighting. the whole movie reminded me of Love Story. same foreboding and all that.

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Alphabet Movies: i’m telling the truth

March 6, 2010

F; Fargo

P; Post Grad

C; Cesky Sen (Czech Dream)

B; (The) Business of Being Born

#; 17 Again

I; (The) Invention of Lying

A; (The) Amateurs

#; 2 Days in Paris

I; (The) Informant!

well we’ve reached that time… the time where i watch a new movie but i’ve already covered that letter. so i guess we’ve got a bonus I entry. i’m still not ready to give away the T spot.

I wanted to see this movie in theatres. much like The Invention of Lying, i didn’t have anyone to go with. pity party! whatever, so i never saw it and it got meh to bad reviews. i put it in my queue and knew one day, i would see this movie that Joel McHale talked about for years because he was in it.

so it’s a movie about this guy, Marc Whitacre. love that last name btw. if there are any Whitacres out there, heeeeey there. let’s get married so i can take your last name. ok back on point! so Marc is an executive at ADM and turns out they’re price fixing their products along with every other company in the world! shocker. so the FBI is contacted about another matter (that Marc brings up *cough* makes up) and huzzah big mouth Marc starts to spill out secrets. next thing ya know, he’s an informant for the FBI about the price fixing going down.

Marc’s an idiot. narrating the tapes much like Homer Simpson would. telling people about his FBI involvement when he clearly shouldn’t. it’s a comedy of errors.

the story evolves, the investigation goes public, gets slow at parts (but come on what movie doesn’t?), Marc’s life is turned upside down, and more stuff just happens! don’t want to spoil it for you.

what i can say is that this movie is basically a ton of comedians in “serious” roles. i swear 90% of the cast has appeared as a panelist on Best Week Ever at least once in their career. ok, not that high, but a lot of comedians in this movie. and Buster Bluth! Pete Hornburger! worth the price of admission alone.

Matt Damon was fantastic. i guess he’s a good actor? Team America would have you believe otherwise, but i kind of like the guy. but honestly i can’t tell you any other movie i’ve seen of his. Bourne series? nope. Good Will Hunting? no sir. i have glaring pop culture blind spots as you can tell. oh wait, he was awesome in Talented Mr. Ripley. i saw that!

so if you like dry humor, don’t mind being a bit confused, and like true stories of corporate takedowns, rent away. i’m such a nerd, i really loved all of the info about what ADM does. corn! it really is in everything.

oh yeah, you might be annoyed by the music. it wasn’t too bad for me. and i loved all of the factoids Damon spouted. i laughed out loud at a lot of them.