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i saw it: The Sword in the Stone

October 1, 2009

new series: discussion of the movies i watch. hopefully it will be mostly first time viewings, but we’re starting out with a classic here…

Disney’s 1963 (? really) epic: The Sword in the Stone

i should say first off, i’ve always enjoyed this animated romp through medieval times. here’s the flaw: i have a horrible memory of anything i saw film-wise as a child. seriously. i regularly miss out on major plot points, and forget endings to things, and generally space out.

in the case, i remember the creepy as fuck Madam Mimm, and Archimedes the owl! and when Merlin rides into the room on a wave from Bermuda. and omg the dancing silverware and plates, cups, et al. and Kaaaaaaay. what a douche. and the squirrel love. and that’s what makes the world go round.

so why watch this movie again? it looks like i remember a lot of it…

i suppose i want to start off this series with something easy and dissect it like a high school English class. so i shall return to this post after i have finished viewing. ta!

…79 minutes later

so Merlin doesn’t ride in on a wave when he comes back from Bermuda. my mistake. first i think i’ll run through my thoughts while watching and then jump into the analysis.

‘oh you squirrely squirrels.’ -Archimedes

the music/score in this movie is awesome. i thoroughly enjoy all of it. i’ve been having this weird appreciation for scores and instrumental music these days. i guess it’s my old age.

now here’s the part where i could go off on how kids today are completely missing out on animated films and how it’s ‘not the same’ with all of these 3D things infesting theaters. if i ever decide to procreate, it’s all 2D animation up in this house.

funny enough, i could also go into a long rant about the lack of British accents when this movie is set in ENGLAND. this really gets to me. i even get peeved when something is set in France, so the people should be speaking FRENCH but since it’s an American movie, noooo let’s make it in English. obviously it would be less enjoyable to watch with subtitles, but i’m all about authenticity.

haha in my notes about ^ i wrote nothing but: bothered.

so when the book opens there’s a nice little ditty laying the exposition for the story. my questions, so a sword stops a war? then they’re the right-wise King of England! huzzah! that seems too easy.

love the whole ‘whoa what whoa’ catchphrase. until the 30th time. it was cute in the beginning, bb.

so i can vividly remember the dancing sugar. the plot, not so much.

so that coyote they use for comic relief… not interested.

here comes some plot! There’s a jousting tournament scheduled on New Year’s Day. FOR THE CROWN. wonder if this will be on pay per view…

so Wart (Arthur) is always getting demerits. is that really punishment? i mean, who is really keeping track here? not his keeper, and certainly not Kay. it’s akin to telling kids that Santa won’t come if they’re bad. but he always does… (and in this case, Wart gets to be the squire anyway)

When Archimedes takes over as teach, it’s great. read those books. genius! and what a sweet teacher he is when they’re flying. Wart looks like such a girl when he’s a bird though. but when they’re flying am I the only one who thinks he should be learning to read and write? Merlin’s seen the future, he knows it’s damn important. and guess what, we don’t turn into birds in the future. stick to the cursive, boy.

The Magnificent Marvelous Mad Madam Mimm! i think we can all agree that we want her singing voice. angelic.

so there’s going to be a Wizard’s dual. two Pay Per View events in one 79 minute span. this one’s full of good vs. evil symbolism. and come on, she totally broke the rules. dragons aren’t real.

but hey! it’s time for the jousting match for the crown. i still don’t understand jousting in the slightest. you run at each other with long wooden things and try to knock the other guy off his horse? i’m glad sport evolved as well, this is lame. even when it’s at Medieval Times with the hot knights.

so Wart forgets Kay’s sword… i see what you did there, Disney. nice going with that set up.

blah blah i think we all know he pulls it out of the stone and he’s king! three cheers, kid. so this begins all of those King Arthur stories. love his hat but i wonder, is that what kings do all day? sit around?

‘and believe me you can have it’ –Merlin re: the 20th Century

now let’s deconstruct this like a high school English class, but only talking about the things i feel are worth mention.

Merlin’s spouting off about education for the entire movie. I GET IT. Disney i’m hip to your tricks. getting all of these kids to go to school. i can’t really fault you though, but saying being a squire is failing? not true at all. i think more people should consider a vocational education. we can’t all get bachelor’s degrees. they’re already meaningless.

so there are a bunch of themes running through this movie: Magic won’t solve yo’ problems, everyone has potential you just have to seize it, you need someone to see your potential, magic proves every point EVER.

so it doesn’t solve problems, but it opens eyes. Wart’s life at the castle basically sucks. he’s washing dishes and cleaning up after Kay all to become his squire. We’re supposed to see here that everyone has potential but we need someone to see it in us so we can take hold of it. Of course I think you can see it in yourself, but more often than not, someone else sees it in you more strongly. parents, teachers, friends, lovers, kidnappers.

Old Merlin is out to use his magic to give us deeper lessons. When they’re fish, they sing a ditty about what makes the world go ’round. basically, nothing ventured, nothing gained. that should be everyone’s life motto if we’re being real. i like it.

well since this is about 600 words longer than it should be, i think i can safely say i discussed this movie at length. it’s great. every kid should watch it. a lot. it’s one of the better Disney movies. if i didn’t love Sleeping Beauty and Robin Hood so much, it would be numero uno.

the more i think about it, the more i want to watch all of those animated classics to see what kind of message they’re really sending. i’m just glad i never thought i could seriously turn into a fish. or a dragon.

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