he was looking all a-jew

December 13, 2008

*back-posted. well no, but i wrote this over a month ago and am posting it now. ta-da!

went to my first Oneg on Friday night. a what? an Oneg. oh, an Oneg. you know, one of those Jewish things.

According to Britannica Online (wikipedia really dropped the ball on this one)

…an Oneg Shabbat is an informal Sabbath (or Friday evening) gathering of Jews in a synagogue or private home to express outwardly the happiness inherent in the Sabbath holiday. Now more social than religious, the group entertains itself with music, drama, community discussions, lectures, or the singing of religious melodies—all in keeping with the biblical injunction, “and call the Sabbath a delight” (Isaiah 58:13). Usually refreshments are provided to complement the congenial atmosphere and perpetuate in spirit the Talmud’s recommendation to eat three full meals that day.

so yes, there were refreshments served and i looked completely goy wearing jeans. the ladies aren’t supposed to show that much leg. either way, i ate some delicious turtle shaped cookie cake. the theme was “the unbearable awkwardness of being” so it was basically awkward turtle all around. and hell i fit right in not knowing anyone at the celebration except the other gentiles that were invited.

I love Jewish folk. i’ve considered signing up on J-date many times. they’re just so cute and i think it’s adorable that they’re so committed to something. i mean obviously it would never work out because i’m not exactly willing to convert, but it’s still fun to love them and their yarmulkes.

the best part of this Oneg? the guy who can’t touch women until he’s married!!! i’m serious. he was the forbidden fruit and it made me want him even more. i tried the whole night to accidentally bump into him, but this guy has cat like reflexes. it was pretty impressive to watch him maneuver around the crowded party filled with ladies and not touch a single one.

he was so cute. while i’m not sure that he was the highlight of the party (that prize goes to the guy who looked like a limo driver but was completely serious about his wardrobe choice), he was certainly up there in my favorite things. definitely better than the creeper in the Bill Clinton mask. that’s probably what made my body decide that expelling anything and everything from it later on that night was a good idea.


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