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can i get your number?

September 1, 2008

it never ceases to amaze me: drunk gentlemen and their telephone.

i must be a nice person, because i always end up talking to said ‘men and only after a few minutes am asked to surrender my phone number as if i’m interested in continuing our conversation about his hometown, major, and why he’s soooo ready to get out into the real world. spare me, please. i am not interested, i am being courteous to you while my friends laugh and then run off to the bathroom. i’d also like to take this opportunity to inquire for some new wingmen while i’m at it, because these people suck at it. if i’m giving you the death stare, please intervene, it hurts my eyes.

what i’ve learned from this first week of American bar hopping is this: i need a fake phone number. not necessarily the reject hot line (i have two of them in my phone in case of dire emergency), but maybe i should take the time to memorize someone’s phone number who i’m not super fond of and just pass it out like candy. i could always do the one number off trick, but that gets old too.

in contrast, i could just be honest and say that i’m not interested in receiving copious amounts of drunk text messages from that person a few hours later because i won’t answer. but while i’m usually all about honesty, there is a sensitivity that comes with alcohol and i don’t need death threats immediately following a rejection.

is it better to give out a fake, reject them on the spot, or give them your real number and then just ignore?

i can’t believe there’s a cover charge for all of these shenanigans.

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