who needs?

July 28, 2008

so i can’t exactly open my jaw to its full form. but that doesn’t mean i do not chew gum. i chew gum at an alarming rate, and yes, i would say that it probably caused, and definitely isn’t helping my lock jaw.

i love gum because it tastes yummy and keeps me entertained. much like the wire attached to my bottom teeth, without gum my mouth/tongue would be bored to tears.

so yay, gum is great, except for one thing: you always have to offer and share it.

anytime i am in the presence of another human being and i feel like having a piece of gum, i pull out the pack and grab one for myself. immediately feeling guilty/burnt from the death ray stares i receive, i am guilted into asking “would anyone like a piece” and then subsequently lose two to four pieces of the stuff. i should learn to keep a dummy pack with me at all times, not empty, just of a flavor i don’t care for. so if you know me at all, it will contain the word “winter” in the title.

i don’t like having to share my gum, i didn’t see you impulsively grab it in the check out of your local Target, so why should you end up getting half of the pack? wow, little red hen moment.

but really, if you like to chew gum you should carry your own. it’s not that i always grumble when asked, i usually offer with no qualms and will gladly share a piece. it’s just that sometimes i don’t feel like sparing my last piece when you just want it to have it. i know your kind, i’m just like you.

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